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Sometimes faith is all someone has to keep them going and Heero Yuy has certainly tested my faith.
I have never been one to give up easily, not when my will is challenged and this time I was damned determined to get my way. I knew from the beginning that making Heero give up even a little of his control was going to be an uphill battle.
First because Heero can be as stubborn as I can be and second because, when confronted with anything he perceives as threatening, he goes into his "Perfect Soldier" mode. So Heero threw down the gauntlet and I accepted the mission on nothing more than faith.
Father Maxwell always said, "Faith is believing when there is no proof."
For months I gave of myself with no guarantee of success. There was not a day that I was not by Heero's side. I was his partner and friend. I worked patiently continually chipping away at the protective barriers thrown up around his heart. Each day, each minute without wavering in my convictions.
There was not a night that he slept alone. Nothing demanding in our shared sleeping arrangements, just mutual comfort against the cold. A closeness... protection against the nightmares spawned by a brutal war that left us scarred in body and spirit. Nocturnal visions that even the end to the conflict and the peace that followed could not lay to rest.
Gradually Heero's defensive blockade began to crack. I chiseled away, inch by inch, so slowly that he failed to notice that his guard was being breached. My perseverance was not from pride or the desire to win, love was the compelling factor. Heero's happiness was all that mattered.
Now there is a clear change, less loneliness, more joy. Heero can finally breathe without hurting his heart and has learned that trust is not as dangerous as he once supposed. We have freedom not from winning the war but from losing ourselves in each other. And I learned a valuable lesson, by helping Heero I also saved myself.
Yes faith can be a hard taskmaster. It will try your soul and challenge your endurance. But if you remain faithful, persistent and true the rewards will far outweigh the problems.
Sometimes faith is all you have but when it comes to matters of the heart it is all you need.
Heero's POV: Fortitude
I always took pride in my fortitude. Physical strength, mental alertness... the certainty of my training was all I needed. I had no need for emotions, most of all love. I was strong but nothing could match the determination of Duo Maxwell.
When Duo sets his mind on a goal neither heaven nor hell will sway his resolve. I had heard him speak of faith, of conviction; surrender to a higher power. I suppose his time with Father Maxwell gave Duo the means to believe that nothing was impossible.
I'm not certain when I became the object of Duo's saving grace. With strength far superior to my self-imposed barriers Duo dared to risk rejection without regard to the consequences.
Daily he stayed by my side, lending support even when I ignored his efforts. He offered friendship, expecting nothing in return. Nightly he shared my bed asking for mutual comfort from the cold. When night terrors, the wolves of war, ravaged my sleep Duo was always there to sooth away the fear.
Despite my resistance Duo never gave up, kept chipping away until he shattered the wall around my heart and freed my soul. He taught me to not only trust him but myself. I learned that fortitude and faith go hand in hand and that two souls can become one when love is unconditional.
Fortitude is not about muscle or power but the sacrifice Duo made for love and that is the greatest strength of all.
Incredible ecstasy takes their breaths away. The explorative foreplay had been carried out in deliberate degrees. Lips kissing, tongues tasting, hands discovering every inch of toned muscles and agile bodies. Scents of sex permeated the bed sending already accelerated libidos into overdrive.
The heat of flesh against flesh, the perfect connection as two bodies become one. It is passion and lust and love combined into a perfect copulation of soul and spirit. A sensual seduction so intense that for a moment time stands still.
One of Heero's legs drapes over Duo's shoulder; the other wraps tighter around Duo's waist as he meets each centered thrust with all the fortitude he can muster. Head thrown back, mouth gasping in ragged pants, Duo grips Heero's hips determined to bring his lover to the edge of eternity and give him a glimpse of heaven.
"Duo." Heero calls out his soul mate's name. "Please." he chokes out the plea for release.
Duo reaches between Heero's sprawled legs grabbing his swollen manhood that is throbbing in rhythm to his lover's rutting. Gliding his hand from base to head and back again Duo matches the metered movement with the pulsation of their heartbeat.
"Now lover?" Duo growls out the question as Heero thrashes under his masterful manipulations.
"Yes, now." Heero whimpers barely able to find his voice as his sensitivity is pushed to its limits.
Duo brushes his thumb over the milky tip of Heero's penis as he delivers one last thrust that hits the right spot causing Heero to discharge his seed. Duo feels Heero's anal muscles tighten and holds on for the thundering climax. A shudder so strong that it nearly causes Duo to pass out takes both lovers to the brink of madness.
Shaking from the excitement Duo eases out before laying down beside his sated lover. Together they share the afterglow snuggled in the rumpled coverlet. Duo brushes back damp bangs so he can see Heero's incredible cobalt eyes.
"Thank you for not giving up on me." Heero offers his gratitude pulling Duo as close as he can.
"We were meant to be together." Duo declares as exhaustion calls the lovers to peaceful slumber. "I couldn't give up, it was our destiny."
"I hope I can live up to the faith you have in me." Heero sighs knowing that Duo has saved his heart from a lifetime of loneliness.
Duo smiles lovingly at his partner, "Your love is all I require." he answers truthfully.
As muted moonlight casts a shimmering glow over the lovers Duo and Heero surrender to sated sleep. Just as Heero drifts off secure in Duo's embrace he hears Duo whisper one word that holds a promise that time can never change... forever.
Faith, Fortitude and Forever--Karen Hickman--August 2003